I call it train wreck TV. And if it’s on, I cannot turn away.
I will pretend to listen to you if you are talking. I.am.not.listening.
I will stop doing whatever more important thing I was doing
(and let’s face it, everything is more important than this type of TV).
I will waste an hour or more of very valuable time that I
would much rather be spending doing any number of things.
But I cannot stop.
Last night, we had our cable hooked up in the new house. We have gone 5 days without TV and I didn’t
even miss it. I let Lily and Gracie
watch an episode of Octonauts after bath time and before bed while I got
a bottle ready for Gracie. When the DVR ended, I turned on the very end of Toddlers & Tiaras somehow the TV defaulted to TLC. This was the order of shows that train wrecked
me:
I had never watched the last two and have only seen bits of
T&T prior to last night. If this is
what is on TV, I am thinking maybe we don’t need cable. Horrible.
I had to make Jeff turn off the TV so I would go to bed.
We all have our routines in the morning. When those routines get out of whack, it can really make for a crazy morning which usually involves someone, if not everyone, being late and feeling a little frantic.
When our alarm went off this morning and Gracie started fussing I knew it was going to be one of *those* mornings. Normally, when we are ready to feed and dress her, we wake her up. She is a good sleeper and rarely wakes up before 7am.This gives me the opportunity to get ready first.Not so much today. But it was hard to be mad at that smile when I picked her up and she nuzzled in for a hug.She does this almost every time I pick her up… *sigh* love.
Gracie Belle – I call her Bella Bean (I wanted to name her Bella, but agreed to a nickname of Bella instead) is six months old today. She is such a sweet, sweet baby.She sleeps through the night. She smiles all the time (unless she’s hungry). She loves to snuggle *sigh* and she is just such a blessing.
Bella loves to be held.If she can see me, she wants me. She is so different from her sister who was always too busy to be held. Lily is very independent and has always wanted to do things her way on her terms, even from the beginning. So I indulge Bella.She needs me and I need her.This is the last time I’ll have a little one and it is simply going too fast. We’ve just started using the wrap-sling-thingy so I can “wear” her and make her happy while still getting things like cooking and dishes done. It makes me happy too.This morning, I did my makeup with Gracie in the wrap. I may have dropped a lid of bare minerals powder, but I didn’t even mind. Instead of this morning feeling hectic because it was not our normal routine, I was able to enjoy it… it was nice to have a little extra time with my baby today.
Lily finally woke up and we got her dressed.Normally, Lily doesn’t want to hold Gracie let alone take pictures with her. I think I have one, maybe two of them together.I told her this morning was special because Gracie is six months old today and that she is two and a half today as well.I asked her if she would be willing to take some photos for mama with Gracie in her chair. Karma must be in my favor today… this is just some of what I got…
Lily looks 16 in this photo
Gracie is always touching Lily - love...
Picking out paint colors for an entire house is so much fun... and so incredibly hard.
we have swatches of color everywhere...
samples are definitely the way to go
We have a large open foyer/great room/kitchen area in the new house. We have the perfect short wall to use as an accent wall. However, we are considering using the dark green on the walls of the great room and foyer - yes all of them.
Yes, that is a lot of green, but there are also a lot of white high ceiling to balance it out... well not technically white - it will be "picket fence."
The kitchen will be a very light neutral-y green called endive and we are happy with that choice. I would include it here, but the internet version is not even close to the real life version. Choosing between the dark greens is proving to be torture. Care to weigh in?
Of course these look very different in person, so I am not sure how helpful my plea for help really is. Feel free to come over and see them in person... We will be deciding tonight after work. You're reward for your valuable opinion is a beer. Thanks for the help. :)
It is official.As of this morning, Jeff and I own our first house.
This may be our first house, but it is not our first home.Our first home was a one bedroom apartment on Cheltenham and Monroe Street across from JoJo’s Pizza and Bar. There was a bright yellow kitchen and no air conditioning.The bathroom tub was porcelain and no amount of bleach would clean it. We had wood floors and radiator heat.We controlled the heat for the apartment above and below us on our side of the building. Debby, above, was always cold, so we turned it up for her, and lived with our windows open during the winter. Which really didn’t matter because even when closed, there was always a breeze coming in. There was a crazy lady who lived in the basement and always knocked on our door needing something – mostly to talk.This was where we became friends and then fell in love.We got married while living in this home.This was where we became pregnant the first time and where we lost our first little girl.
Knowing we needed more space for the family we wanted, we left our little apartment and moved into a townhome. It wasn’t the house we dreamed of, but it was better equipped for family than the one bedroom on Cheltenham. We had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a basement that we didn’t have to share and gasp – our own washer and dryer. No more 10 hour laundry marathons at our in-laws.We became pregnant here not once but twice.This was where we brought each of our girls “home” to from the hospital. These are the windows we’ve looked out while rocking our girls to sleep. Our little front yard is where we’ve blown bubbles and where Lily has walked her babies in strollers and where we have gone swimming in our little pools. This home has been good to us.
Finally, we are able to buy our first house. It feels like we have waited so long, like we have done it all backwards.Don’t people usually buy the home first, then start a family?Well, we have always done things a little backwards I guess.We planned the wedding before the proposal.The wedding band came before the engagement ring because that is what we could afford.I guess it all doesn’t really matter in the end.
our new home - flowers and gardens to come
grass free of neigbors' ciggarette butts - no shoes required
suggestions on how to paint kitchen/foyer/great room are more than welcome
(this is not our stuff)
counter space + seriously amazing fridge that is taller than me
(the one we have is sized for a play kitchen)
finally I will be able to enjoy a summer
There are paint colors to pick out, appliances to buy and packing to do. It is all very overwhelming. Who has time for this with toddlers and babies? When exactly am I supposed to pack, clean, paint, organize? I have no idea. Thankfully we have a few weeks to get it all done. Looking past all of that… I simply cannot wait to make this house our home. So happy.
Gracie just started doing this last night. It’s hilarious.She cannot stand that she is not able to eat and also see who ever may be sitting on the other side of the table, in this case, me. I didn’t get a picture of it, but she tips her head back and then gets a huge smile once she sees you… most of the food runs out of the corners of her mouth.
If she isn’t trying to see me, she is always watching her big sister. Again… more food falls out of her mouth because of all the smiling. Lily exacerbates the situation by singing or making silly noises repeatedly. It’s chaos, but it’s fun.
p.s. That is not a super trendy and cool foil centerpiece.We cover the fishbowl with foil to deter the cat from drinking the water and trying to play with the fish.Please disregard the rest of our mess… our kitchen table is a disaster.
I started two weeks ago. I got through the first 5 days and then got sick. Very sick.And my girls got sick. We all had the same virus and for poor Gracie it turned into hand, foot and mouth. Let me tell you, hand, foot and mouth is not a fun thing for an infant to have. She turned into a baby I didn’t even know.She didn’t sleep, couldn’t eat and cried nonstop… for about 4 days. It was not a fun Easter at our house.
Gracie kicked over her basket during meltdown mode
There were no cute photos of Gracie digging into her easter basket or of the girls wearing their matching bunny ears. It was all we could do to survive the day.
Gracie did like the grass - of course.
While I didn't get a photo in the matching bunny ears, they did tolerate one in their matching sun glasses...
blurry iPhone pic - but I'll take what I can get
Needless to say, when babies don’t sleep, parents don’t sleep. No sleep + silly coxsackie virus = no exercising. I was mad.Here, I’d finally committed to exercising and completing this 60 day challenge and I was bailing after a week. There was no option.I could barely get off the couch, much less do this…
But after a few days of catching up on sleep and feeling better about life in general I started again yesterday.When people say that Insanity is hard, they are not lying. I get up every morning at 4:45am because I know if I had to spend all day dreading looking forward to that workout, I would never do it. Every morning I tell myself that I can torture myself do this for the 40-45 minutes it takes. I can do anything for less than an hour.And I do.And I feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment before I even leave the house to begin my day and that alone is worth it.
Why do I love it? It's a challenge and I feel like it will really work. I am an instant gratification kind of person, so I'm drawn to the short timeline (60 days). Do I expect to have a ripped 6 pack after 60 days? No. I don't really have a need for that. I would be extremely thrilled with about 10-15 less pounds and some more energy. I also love that I can modify what I can't quite do and I still feel like I'm working harder than I ever have. I love it because it makes me so angry that I can't do everything as well, as many times, and as fast as I should and that's motivation.
Why do I hate it? It is hard. I threw up twice during the initial fit test. I was so sore during the first week that I could barely walk or sit or do anything really. I literally could barely sit to pee. I almost stayed home from work. it was rough. I also hate that I have to get up so early. But if I don't, I will rack up 900 reasons why I am not going to do any exercise after work before it is even 10am.
I spend a lot of time swearing at Shaun T… but at the same time, he’s fun to watch.If I have to go through this, there may as well be some enjoyment.
Jeff is doing this with me.Not at 4:45am.He isn’t human till he has his coffee. He really doesn’t even like to talk till after he’s been awake for at least an hour, so Insanity will never be a part of his morning routine.
Jeff does Insanity when he gets home from work with the girls. The only place we have to do this is our living room aka babies-r-us-threw-up-all-over-land. I try to take Lily upstairs and otherwise occupy her so he can have his time. It doesn’t always work.She loves to “exercise” too. And it’s hilarious. I vow to get it on video and post because everyone should get to smile as much as I do when watching her.
My favorite part so far is at the end of the “Pure Cardio” workout when Shaun T falls on the floor and says “This shit is bananas, yo.”Yes, Shaun, it is definitely bananas.
I don’t usually have a problem with needles.I have 5 tatoos.
Today I went to the dermatologist for the first time in too many years to have my moles checked.There was one in particular on my upper lip I was concerned with.It had grown a bit in size and was changing color and texture.
The dermatologist thought it was best to biopsy the mole which involves essentially scraping it off my face.This didn’t really bother me.Better safe than sorry.
She informed me the worst part is the numbing.Ok, not a big deal right?I already had three cavities replaced earlier this week and half my face was numb for that.
Let me share the difference with you.Dentists use a numbing agent to numb the area before they actually insert the needle into your head.That step doesn’t happen at the dermatologist.She just grabs your face and inserts that needle and you feel all of it including the awesome burning from the numbing agent actually going in.
I admitted it was finally April today and flipped my Storypeople calendar on my office wall. It reads…
“If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can. & there is nothing more to it than that.”
That's worth flipping for. Gracie Belle is officially 5 months. When did this happen?
Sort of sitting on her own, Gracie was telling crocodile his business
Lily asked to hold Gracie... finally. Gracie never takes her eyes off Lily.
Also worth noting – Storypeople has free facebook cover art stories on their website. This makes me hate the new facebook timeline a little less.Just a teeny teeny bit less.
Ever feel like something was just meant to be?Last Thursday afternoon, I received an email from our realtor’s search tool thingamabob that was a notice of status change for the house we had made an offer on. I just about fell off my chair.It was back on the market? Within minutes I was simultaneously emailing Jeff and calling our realtor to find out what was happening.
The original buyer got cold feet, backed out and yes, the house was in fact back on the market. We already had an appointment to look at four houses the following day. We kept those and added this house to the list.
You see, for the past week or so, we had been talking about all the reasons why maybe this wasn’t the house for us in an effort to feel better about losing it. Now that it was an option again – had we talked ourselves out of it?
The first four houses were rough.One was HUGE, but a foreclosure and in terrible shape. There was a fireplace in one of the rooms and in the photos online it had an entire wall of brick around it. In reality it was brick wallpaper.Yes I said brick wallpaper. Seriously.Who does this?
When I walked into the house again, I felt content. I felt reassured it was the house for us. We made an offer before we left and it was accepted the next day.
Does this house have everything we’ve ever wanted and more? No.Is it as big as we’d like it to be? No.Unfortunately like probably everyone I know, we can’t afford everything we want, especially in our first home.
What I love most about this house:
huge kitchen with an open floor plan to the kitchen table and living room
cathedral ceilings
walk-in closet and a master bathroom
finished basement with tons of storage also
large yard for the girls with space for me to have a garden
in-ground pool and deck
While it may not have as much square footage as we’d like, I think it’s perfect for how we would like to *live* in a house. The girls will have their own rooms where their toys can live and our living room will no longer *have* to look like Babies R Us threw up all over our floors. It more than likely still will at times, but it will no longer be the only option.
The house is a blank canvas. Everything is neutral so we can decide what color we want to make it without having to invest in gallons of primer to cover up fluorescent pink walls or figure out how to cover up all those awesome faux paint finishes we saw in so many homes.
Finally we will have a place for the girls to play outside.This makes me so happy. I grew up with an in-ground pool and have so many fun memories from that. I can’t wait for the girls to have that as well. I also hate being hot, so this is a pretty awesome feature considering it will help me tolerate the summer JWe may go broke paying for the necessary sunscreen costs though…
Now to get past the inspections and the nine million steps that have to come before we can move in.
I think we were too late and too low with our offer.I’m trying not to dwell on it but I was disappointed.
I found out Monday after work as I was on the way to meet Jeff, the girls and some friends of ours for dinner at Nagoya. I heart their sushi, but always feel like I’m cheating on Een when I go there without her - that’s one of our favorite date spots J.
The company and the sake made me feel a little better.That and Lily was pretty well behaved. Toddlers can ruin a dinner out pretty quickly, especially when Mama forgets crayons or any type of activity to entertain them (the iPad is a life saver).
Outside the restaurant is a nice grassy area between the Hilton and Nagoya.Lily wanted to run in the grass, so her and Jeff did just that for a bit. I took some photos and sat with Gracie.
Daddy really is so much fun!
Strawberry Shortcake sunglasses from a birthday party last weekend. We wear them constantly.
I heard her ask about going into the Hilton to go potty.She had just gone potty in the restaurant not 20 minutes ago. I didn’t think much of it, sometimes she uses wanting to go potty as a means to do other things… like get out of bed when she should be sleeping, etc. We thought she just wanted to go into the hotel, which we of course were not going to do.
Next thing I know, she is pulling up her shirt and pulling down her shorts and honeys.Yes, that’s my child naked in the “park” at Levis Commons. Jeff quickly reassembled her outfit while laughing histerically.I was snapping photos and didn’t quite catch it, mostly because I was laughing myself (it's blurry, but you get the idea).I wasn’t super proud of this… but you have to admit, it was pretty funny.
Dropping trough - as they say
As he was walking her back to the car Lily stops on the sidewalk and Jeff yells to me as I was packing Gracie up – “What do you suggest I do now?” I look over and Lily is standing on the sidewalk peeing. There is literally a lake sized puddle growing at her feet and it’s splattering everywhere.
This was. not. funny.
Lily potty trained in about 3 days. Since that time she has had all of maybe two accidents. This was not an accident, it was on purpose.Sometimes she is evil difficult but this was new.I was disappointed.
I explained that this behavior was not acceptable and was definitely NOT funny and we went home and took a bath and got her to bed late.Awesome.
The next morning I had to get up early for a meeting. I was coming upstairs from the kitchen and heard Lily yelling for me “Ohhhhhhhhhh Mamaaaaaa… I have to go potty…” in her sing song morning voice. It’s hilarious.But by the time I got up there her bed was a swimming pool of pee. I was disappointed.
I miraculously was able to get her bathed and still get to my meeting on time, so all is well that ends well.
Potty setbacks are not fun.We will be limiting our drinks in the evening from now on.
I have never owned a home. We rent a wonderful townhouse, but now that my employment situation is settled we have very excitedly begun the process of finding our home. We have been looking at houses - what feels like a ton of houses. It is a frustrating process at times, but we are learning a lot about what we love and what we don't.
We looked at a house that belonged on the Hoarder tv show – I wish I could have taken pictures, but I felt like that was bad karma.It was amazing.
I digress -
We found a house.We love it.We made an offer yesterday.
Gracie laughed for the first time last night.Full on giggles.It was the best sound ever.
Apparently taking her socks off was hilarious. Probably because she just figured out how to grab her toes. My guess is she was excited to get to them.
She wouldn’t laugh for Jeff, or even again for me. I am sure it is only a matter of days before she is laughing all the time. That’s just how it is these days.As soon as she learns something new, it’s one more milestone checked off the list and we are moving on to the next. Bittersweet...
So I will treasure that brief moment when her giggles were just for me.
Swim lessons are going well.These photos are from last week. Lily was too scared to jump off the wall (this was her favorite activity the week before). We’ll see how this week goes.
Mama is just hoping that there are a few less people in attendance. Last week there was barely enough room for all the kids to stand on the wall and forget about circling up for motorboat. Seriously – how many people can fit in this pool??
Since I’ve become a mom… things that happen in our world affect me differently. Maybe differently isn’t the right word.Deeper.They affect me deeper.
Tragic, horrible, sad things happen all over the world on a day to day basis. They always have.But since I’ve become a mom, when I read about or listen to these stories, it hurts me in a way it never did before. I “feel” pain and sadness deeper than I ever used to.There are days I completely avoid the news because I just cannot take it.
(Do any other moms feel this way??)
I used to work for the Make-A-Wish Foundation and children with life threatening medical conditions and their families have always been close to my heart. Now that I’m a mom, I feel blessed and grateful every day that I have healthy children. I don’t “know” what it is like not to, but I have been lucky enough to meet some wonderful families and learn a little bit about their stories. I was lucky enough to be a small part of helping their wishes come true. I no longer work for Make-A-Wish, but still hold the organization and the families involved close to my heart.
A friend of mine has a very brave cousin named Erin.I’ve been following her story for some time now. She has battled cancer twice and won.I was very sad to read that the cancer is back. Erin and her family are beginning the fight yet again.I cried when I read this and it hurts deep to even try to imagine what Erin and her family are going through. If you have a minute, read about Erin.Say a prayer, think good healing thoughts, do whatever it is you do for others when they are in need.
Then take a minute and be thankful.Be thankful for the good things…
Read more about Erin's wish to meet Justin Bieber here.
Swim lessons were a success.Lily LOVED swimming.She blew bubbles, kicked on her belly and kicked on her back. She threw toys and paddled to retrieve them and she even went under water. She did “ok” with the under water part – but the look on her face coming up was priceless.Why on earth would you do that to me mama??We just kept singing.
Top 3 moments of the class:
The smile on her face after she got to jump into the pool from the edge - huge.
Yelling announcing to the little girl next to us her name was Lily arms thrown out to the sides and again with the huge smile – she did it with flair.
When Lily and her BFF Libby both realized they were naked in the locker room after class and they proceeded to spontaneously hug and giggle –nothing but pure joy.(I wish I felt that much joy being naked – ahh the innocence of a child)
Today is the day.Today Lily begins swim lessons at the YMCA. I have been talking about doing this for the last year. I have been feeling guilty because I kept putting it off.
Why would I put off something that she needs and will clearly love participating in? She “swims” in the bathtub.I think she’s part fish.
Cabin Lake - July 2011
The answer is simple.Swim lessons = mama wearing a bathing suit. Yuck.
Now that Gracie is 4 months old, I like to think that I’m figuring out our new daily routine. We get everything the essentials done that we need to everyday on most days. Sometimes the laundry piles up. Our home isn’t as clean as I would love for it to be, but it will do. The girls usually go to bed on time.I usually don’t get to bed as early as I would like, but I don’t fall asleep at my desk, so I guess I’m doing ok.
What I have not figured out how to make part of our routine is exercising.Theoretically, I should have one hour at home alone before Jeff gets home with the girls. All I have to do is leave work on time. Go home. Work out.Sounds easy, right?I usually fail at step one. If I make it past step one and get home on time, I start doing things in an effort to get ahead with the hopes of going to bed a bit earlier. If I just do these dishes quick/start to make lunches for the next day/get just one load of laundry going/sort the mail… the list goes on. What I do not do, is exercise.
A couple weeks ago I borrowed P90X from Iristook. I have the manuals, the dvds, everything. I haven’t even watched them yet.Ugg.
Working out after the girls go to bed? Forget about it.I’m a hot mess. Exhausted.Outside of being exhausted, Gracie’s every night activity is what we’ve dubbed “floor time.”
From about 8:30-9:30/10pm all she wants to do is lay on the floor and talk while being talked to. Sometimes she wants to practice standing up.The past few days, she has been practicing rolling over.As every working mom knows… this is some of the precious little time I get with her each day. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.Once she’s had enough, she usually goes to bed and we shower and get ready for bed ourselves. Soon enough it’s 11/11:30pm and we start the day all over again at 5:50am.
Boden Retro Swimsuit
Back to swim lessons.I’m dreading this evening. I’m dreading wearing a bathing suit. I had to order one and I love it.But I don’t love it on me. All I can hope is that every other mom in the class is too busy feeling the same way to be judging me.
Maybe the torture will be enough to make me use my hour more wisely.
Storypeople posts a random story every day on Facebook. Today was one of my favorites.We printed this story on the wedding invitations I handmade.
Beginning
he followed the sun & she followed the stars & in dreams they listened closely for the beginning of all things, for that was where they knew they'd find each other
For my birthday… my best friend Vicki gave me a gift card to Purl Soho. I was so excited to order some fun things.They arrived just the other day…
Inside this cute little package...
This yarn is amazing!I posted about wanting to make a blanket out of it here.I think first, I will tackle a scarf.Going to start this weekend. I cannot wait!
Closer look...
Also tucked in the package was one yard of liberty of london fabric...
I have been drooling over this fabric forever. I am going to use part of it to cover a magnet board for my office. Now that I know I’m staying (after almost 4 years) I think I’ll decorate my office J
I wish I knew how to sew clothes… it would make a beautiful something-to-wear. The fabric is sooooo soft.A skirt maybe?I can do the basics, but I think clothing is beyond my skill level.
